Birthday Wheel

Well, after the glum post last week, my birthday weekend has taken quite a turn for the better. Tomorrow (November 8th) is my actual BD, and let's just say I'm one year shy of the big 5-0. Yikes.

Anyway, my sweet Bobby made this birthday extremely special by getting me a new spinning wheel. This is a combined birthday, Christmas/Hannukah, and anniversary present all rolled into one in advance, but it warms my heart that he wanted me to have the wheel in spite of the uncertainties that dog our lives right now. We both feel "cautiously optimistic" about our personal and collective future. So those of you who have written to me with well wishes and concern - bless you!

During the past few months, I've been wanting a new wheel. My 1970's model Ashford Traditional has served me well in my first year of spinning, but she's a single treadle with one ratio and very small bobbins. And she's a bit clunky and not extremely cooperative in traveling to various knitting/spinning guild get-togethers. She's a old girl, don't cha know (nearly as old as THIS old girl). Therefore, she prefers to sit at home rather than being squashed into my small Toyota.

I was considering 4 wheels: the Ashford Joy, the Ashford Traveller, Louet Victoria and last but not least, the Kromski Sonata. Well guess, which one I picked? Ta Da Da DA . . . . . . . . . the Kromski Sonata, in Walnut finish, won out.


And now time for the official unveiling!!!

While we were unpacking her from the box, my dog Domino remained unimpressed. In fact, he dozed.

Here's Bob working away, studying the directions and working on the assembly. (There's not much assembly involved, but there's a little when it comes straight out of the box like this).




So we finally got it together and in good working order. And afterwards, both of my boys were pretty wiped out. But the wheel and I were both wide awake and stayed up spinning until quite late.

One Thing After Another

The last month has just flown by in a flash. All time seems to go fast, but this month in particular. I feel like I'm constantly rushing from one thing to another, just like a hamster on a treadmill, but sometimes I feel like a hamster whose foot has gotten TRAPPED in the treadmill and I've fallen on my face.

Anyway, things haven't gone particularly well this month. I'm still trying to lose that bit of weight that had crept back on -- it's harder taking off than keeping off, let me tell you but the important thing is I'm making progress.

Also, Bob is laid off from his company now. We're not in horrible financial shape yet, and are luckier than most to still have our medical benefits to continue, at least for a few months. But there is the overall worry of the horrible economy and being 50 in the job market, as he is, isn't as easy as being 25. Plus, I'm still not officially hired on with the company I've been temping with for the past 6 months. So things in the career department are still scarily "up in the air."

I'm trying to just hang on and continue to hope things will get better.

A few weeks ago, I finished the beautiful autumn-colored shawl that I was making for my secret swap partner. I got it mailed out to her the other day. After she opens it, I'll post photos of the shawl here on my blog.

Aunt Eve came to visit this weekend. I love having her. It's the one assurance that I'll get my house cleaned up a bit - having company to visit is very motivating in the housekeeping department. I wish she could come during better times. It seems like nearly every time she visits, I'm coping with some sadness or problem - last year it was my brother's death and my Grammy going into a nursing home. This year, it's Bob's job loss.


I did finally finish my Tapesty Regia toe-up socks that has been on the needles (can you believe it) nearly TWO YEARS. Yes, though I love knitting socks, I tend to poke along on them and go extremely slow.

I'm hoping the treadmill slows down a bit this week, but if it doesn't, I'll run with more joy in my new cozy socks.

Comfort - Without the Calories

As I've mentioned, it's been really cold here lately, unseasonably cold, and I'm finding myself wanting to hibernate like an old bear, seeking warmth, comfort and emotional safety as well as deep sleep in a way that I do EVERY year at this time, but even more so what with all the financial uncertainty out there and Bob's job going away soon.

But anyhow, I'm not here to kavetch about that overmuch. The point is, because I'm in this sleepy, hungry, cold, and inactive mode, I haven't been exercising regularly AND instead of veggies, I've been craving soup, casseroles, and pie (my favorite is French Silk) - why the heck pie, don't ask!!! But this isn't helping my efforts to keep my weight steady. And it's certainly not helping me lose - the scale is creeping slowy up. Not drastically, but not the direction I want it to go.

So today, I decided to start thinking of comforting and warm and nurturing things I could do besides eat high cal foods and hunkering down in my comfy bed.

How about:

Broth soups instead of creamy soups?

Warm veggies instead of salads. I'm not feeling the salad at all lately.

How about hot flavored tea instead of high cal dessert drinks?

How about laying out my exercise clothes right by my bed so I can jump into them in the morning?

How about those 60 calorie chocolate puddings instead of the chocolate pie?

How about rewarding myself with sitting in bed and knitting while watching a movie only AFTER I've done my exercise for the day?

Any other ideas and insights would be greatly appreciated.

One more thing - I'm going to try to make my favorite high-cal drink at the local coffee shop and converting it into maybe lower cal alternative? The drink is called "London Fog." And it is the yummiest thing and most stomach-warming thing I've tasted in ages.

London Fog:

Harney & Sons Hot Cinnamon Spice Flavored Black Tea (1 teabag)

1 oz Monin's Sugarfree Vanilla Syrup

1 cup steam skim milk

Sprinkling of cinnamon on top

This morning, I just treated myself to a cup of that hot cinnamon tea all by itself, without the milk or syrup, but I served it to myself in a really pretty mug and it made me feel cozy and comfortable. So sometimes comfort can be had without ANY calories, but just a bit of self nurturing.

Questions to ponder today while spending some time curled up with my journal: "Why are you hungry? What in life are you hungry for? How can you feed yourself in a way that doesn't involve food?" Okay, not only am I going to sip tea, I'm going to sit down with my journal and explore those questions. Hunger is about more than one's stomach. And there are many routes to comfort.

Freezing: Still, A Three Day Weekend is a GOOD Thing

It's hard to believe this is us only a couple of weekends ago, in late September, enjoying a very sunny day together sitting outside on a veranda. But now, we've been plunged into heavy jackets and are huddling inside.

It's a three day weekend - a rare but wonderful treat. Three day weekends are one of my favorite things on earth. I am so happy to be off. Yay! We were thinking of taking a road trip out of town, but we're too tight on money right now, so instead, we just stayed at home, cleaned out our kitchen pantry and closets and had a relaxing time together. Besides, the temperatures were FREEZING, no joke. We had unseasonably cold snap for early October. So we choose to stay at home, in front of the fire to read knit and watch movies, sounded like the best possible thing to do.

I got a lot of knitting done on my secret swap partner's shawl. I can't post a picture yet - either here or on Ravelry until Thanksgiving time, when we all do the "Big Reveal" but my knitting buddies have seen it growing progressively over the two months it has taken me to make it. Now I'm ALMOST done. I'm within 2 more repeats of being finished. Then the blocking. Then it will KILL me not to show the photos, but I'll restrain myself. Thanksgiving is really not that far away. Is it?

What's weird is that we have these extremely cold temps before our leaves have changed color. That's unusual. The trees are still largely green, with just a hint of autumn color, and I still have (or had?) tomatoes clinging to the vines, and yet we got down to 29 degrees at night and highs in the 40's maybe? I'm not sure. All I know is that when we took a quick trip over to Lawrence, Kansas yesterday morning I was so cold in my light jacket that we didn't walk around much.


One thing we DID do while in Lawrence was to visit Yarn Barn, my very favorite yarn store in the area. You guys would be SO proud of me. Instead of buying up a bunch of yarn, which I can't afford to do and don't NEED to do, I restrained myself by buying only the thing I set out to get - a Lantern Moon Maya Floral Sock Project Bag ($29). Here it is. This is the greatest little bag. It is light weight, in a delicate silk fabric that is reversible. It has pockets on both sides. It has a closure button on both sides, too. My bag is Garnett on one side and JadishCharcoal on the other. In spite of the bag being small and lightweight, it holds quite a bit - see it holds sock yarn, a completed sock, and one sock still on the needles. It also holds the folded up pattern.

What I Learned From Olive

I have been reading a lot more. Ever since I bought a Kindle II electronic reader from Amazon, I've become obsessed with reading because it is even easier to grab my Kindle than to grab my knitting. It goes along in my purse and I can pull it out and do quick snatches of reading in short periods of stolen time. I've been gobbling up books greedily.

Now let me tell you about Olive Kitterage. She's not a REAL person, but I feel like she is. She's the focus of a novel called appropriately enough, Olive Kitterage by Elizabeth Strout. It won the 2009 Pultizer Prize for fiction. This novel is a series of short stories featuring Olive, a middle-aged math teacher. The story unfolds in a series of vignettes about her life at various stages. Sometimes Olive is the main character, and in a couple of the stories she merely plays a supporting role - but with each passing chapter, we get a deeper and broader picture of this character and her life.

I think it takes BEING a middle aged woman to look back on your life and see yourself and others in Olive. Granted, Olive is probably an extreme that most of us don’t reach, but there’s the little bit of “witch” in all of us that we see coming out sometimes. And then, there’s the dicotomy - the really compassionate nurturer that also comes out when we feel moved by someone/something. Although there’s more of the witch in Olive when she’s young, there’s the compassionate Earth Mother that shows itself increasingly as she ages - and a definite theme of regret rings through the later portion of the “novel” (collection of short stories). Yet what I admire about Olive is she doesn’t shirk or shrink from her own failings. She admits them, if privately. She mulls over those things - and in a way, this whole book is a collage of her life, much of which she probably wishes she did differently.

In one story, she remembers back when she and Henry (husband) were middle aged. She thinks a very profound thought. “There were days, she could remember this, when Henry would hold her hand as they walked home, middle-aged people, in their prime. Had they known at those moments to be quietly joyful? Most likely not. People mostly did not know enough when they were living life that they were living it.”

I have to say that in some stories, she comes off as fairly unlikeable but as her self-awareness and compassion grow, she becomes more likeable. Not only that, but even at her most unlikeable, the story is still absorbing. It's a cautionary tale of why I don't want to let some of the "Olive like" negative qualities creep into my relationships and damage them as they have in Olive's life.

Olive has taught me to be kinder and gentler to those I hold dear. To be less insistent on having my own way. To release my child a little bit - let her find her own way and to not be as judgmental. To be more flexible. To keep finding renewed meaning in life at every stage. Most important of all, nothing is as valuable as our relationships. We should be willing to bend, to reach out, to forgive and to give up our own petty hurts from the past so that we can keep the door of our relationships always open.

Number One Ladies Detective Agency

I have been reading The Number One Ladies Detective Agency Series of books by Alexander McCall Smith. Although this is an old series that started back in 2003, I never was able to "get into" the first book when I started to read it years ago. It was only when the HBO series came out last spring that I decided to give the books a try again.

What made the whole series really come alive for me was the excellent audio book version read by a narrator who really drew me into the story with her rich voice and Bottswana accent. Precious Ramotswe, the lead detective in this story, is a "traditionally built" middle aged woman who is proud to be exactly what she is - calm, smart, and a solver of "small things" not "big things" like murder, but small things that affect people's lives most deeply. Her observations about human nature are so profound, that one minute I'm laughing and the next I'm jotting down her nuggets of wisdom so I can cling to them for future reference.

She is the loving Earth Mother who takes a slow, easy approach to life that relaxes me and calms me as I read. Far from boring, the series is character driven but once you step into the pages and immerse yourself in the lives of these imaginary people, they seem as real as can be. They are people you dearly WISH were real. I just finished reading the 9th book in the series, The Miracle At Speedy Motors, and I'm hoping the series never ends.


Now I'll go have myself a cup of Bush Tea, which Madame Ramotswe (pronounced "Ra-MOTES-way") drinks whenever she wants to relax and think deeply about a problem. I found that this mystery series is so popular that The Republic of Tea has actually come out with a "Botswana Blossom" natually caffeine-free Rooibos blended tea with Citrus, Blossoms and nuts in honor my favorite mystery series heroine. I daesay, Madame Ramostwe herself would approve. It's a good way to unwind at the end of a long day.

I Found My Refuge in a Monastery

Serene. That's how I feel after returning from the most relaxing and satisfying weekend at a spiritual retreat held at a monastery. The Benedictine Sisters were doing a workshop retreat on "Centering Prayer."

I arrived on Friday evening, straight after work and met up with two other retreatants who had driven in from Topeka. We checked into our rooms had dinner together. Guess which room I got? #8 - which is my lucky number.


The room was so quaint - a small very comfortable twin bed. A dresser. A rocking chair. A small desk. A shared restroom. That was it. But it was wonderful - a quiet room with no TV. No computer.


At first, I worried that I'd be the only non-Catholic there, but most of the retreants were non-Catholic and from a variety of different backgrounds. The only thing we shared in common was a spiritual thirst and a longing for inner peace. The sisters made us feel right at home.

We were at the workshop all day Saturday and most of the day Sunday, but with breaks for exploring the beautiful tree-lined campus and many quiet places to meditate, pray, do journaling, to read, to walk, to talk with others and even a bit of time to knit. I found myself staying up late just so that I could spend a bit more uninterrupted quiet time alone. It was wonderful!


Sister Michaela, our retreat leader, was very inspiring. She talked about her own experiences with Centering Prayer and taught us intellectually at first, guiding us through the concepts conceptually. Then she had us practice the technique, which was a receptive kind of prayer focusing on a sacred word of our own choosing. We spent some time contemplating our word - and then trying it out during an initial practice session. We all discussed our experiences, then practiced several times the first day, broken by periods of talk, exploring the campus -- spending time alone and together. We also went to chapel and participated in their services. It was moving and amazing to observe.

As a group of 16 retreat members, we really bonded with one another for the short time we were there. Each person was unique, interesting and I enjoyed meeting each one. In fact, I have their email addresses and hope some of us can keep in touch.

We ended this afternoon with our final centering practice session, and then we left, returning to our "real lives." I hope to bring at least a small part of that peace back with me into daily life. But I know I need to keep meditating - because it's so much easier to be peaceful when you have low-stress situations such as a retreat. The real challenge is to BE that person I was there, and try to be that helpful, kind, serene person with my family, my coworkers, my friends in everyday life.

I hope to refresh myself again at a return visit in the future. Now that I've found such a special place, I will cherish it and return.