Being Content with What I Have and What I Can Do

You know, I didn't undertake a word/theme this new year. And while goal-oriented, I'm managing to reach work goals, but because my work is both so emotionally rewarding and so demanding right now, I'm giving myself a break on the personal goals. The problem is, my work is EMOTIONALLY rewarding, but not financially (yet). I'm hoping this improve for us financially eventually . . . . but for right now, our family is broke because of living separately due to the bad economy. So we're trying to dog paddle . . . keep our heads above water.

Because of all the financial and family stress, and so much of our lives out of our control, I'm focusing on using my personal time to relax, enjoy and unwind. For once, I'm giving myself a bit of freedom and slack to just BE during my limited time off. Also am relieved that the spinning wheel and weaving equipment mode that haunted me last year has eased off quite a bit in the past 5-6 months, largely because I no longer have the chance to obsess about new equipment, and no longer have the time or money to pursue the perfect wheel or loom. Instead, I'm just enjoying what I have and appreciating every spare moment I have to do crafts of any kind.

The spinning is still the most enjoyable thing in the world! I no longer even PRETEND I'll finish a dozen projects in a year. Heck, I'll be happy to finish one or two completed projects the whole year of 2012 -- the current project is a sweater from my handspun yarn. But even if I never finish it, just spinning and knitting on it has been an utter joy. It doesn't get any better than that - just spin, knit, admire and breathe deep.

New Year's Introspection

Well, as always, this week between Christmas and New Year's is my FAVORITE week of the year. It's the week of my dear husband's birthday, and also, the week I start contemplating a brand new year. New goals . . . . new possibilities. How exciting!

The photo remins me to clap for myself and others and be grateful for what I've achieved.

Usually I try to come up with a word/theme to guide the year, but I'm giving that up this year. Instead, I have created a few reachable, doable goals that will be fluid with my life and will evolve as my year does. I've included three goals and three affirmations and am carrying them around on a small index card in my purse. I am recopying, and meditating as well as visualizing myself achieving these goals each day during my meditation time. That's my plan anyway, and I've successfully been doing it for the past two weeks to test the plan out to make sure it works.

Last year, 2011, was crazy and unexpected in mostly good and just a few bad ways. I LOVE my new job and am making good headway with it. I liked my old job a lot and was so worried that I'd made a crazy decision by changing jobs in the middle of a bad recession and especially when that change involved an initial pay cut, but gues what? Surprise, it was a really good move. I'm meeting my sales goals at work and loving what I do. I'm still not making quite as much income-wise as I did at my old job, but it's all going to work and eventually, I hope the money will follow.

On the other hand, Bob's career has involved long distance back and forth much of the time. I really miss having my husband home all the time - but we are working our way into a better situation where we can balance being together and apart -- while still keeping our careers and home life as balanced as possible. He's now able to telecommute much more, so hopefully it will be easier. I think we're doing as well as can be expected given the odd career ride we've both had the last few years.

Holding it together is important - and we've done that. So in many ways, 2011 feels like a year where we made good with whatever was thrown our way.

I've given up even GUESSING what 2012 might hold, who knows? But instead my focus is going to be on doing the best I can with whatever comes my way.

How about you?

Have a Happy Jolly Christmas

I'm not stressing . . . at least not about the typical gift giving and running around crazy like a chicken with my head cut off to buy just the right gift for more people can I can afford to buy for yet feeling obligated to do so. In fact, for several years now, I really have let that go entirely. This year even my Mother and I have agreed to the "no gift" thing - we have decided we have enough STUFF and we're going to just be together during the holidays and try to be a gift to one another in our presence, not our presents. The only person I'm buying an actual gift for is my daughter, and she's told me what she wants, so that's no sweat - something reasonable and affordable.

I can't believe what a difference it makes not worrying about the gifts. Now keep in mind, I have a small family, and no little kids in the picture. In fact, most of our relatives are middle age or older, and frankly, they don't want more 'stuff' anymore than I do!! It's the phase of my life I'm in - and one of the real perks to being in a life phase where I can "pause" more and step back, having a chance to experience the joys of the holiday without the obligation.

Now is the time to address some Christmas cards . . . listen to some music while drinking an old hot spiced tea favorite of mine from childhood. So where you are stressed or not, buying gifts or not, having lots of guests coming over . . . being with friends and loved ones, or being by yourself, you can do whatever holiday rituals truly make you happy - and one of mine is reading Truman Capotes, "A Christmas Memory" and then drinking some Christmas tea from my childhood. Maybe you can make some too? Or if you have to buy gifts, you can package this up in a little sandwich bag, into a Christmas mug and it makes a cute, inexpensive gift.

Hot Spiced Tea

1 1/2 cup of Tang instant breakfast drink

1/2 cup instant tea

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 cup sugar or artificial sweetner

Enjoy!

The Kindness of Strangers . . . .

I have been busy with the new job, as well as tons of personal changes. I won't get into all the excuses . . . and there's no need to apologize for not blogging in a while.

I'll just move on to the fact that I do indeed have MANY blessings . . . and chief among them is warm friends, loved ones . . . . and the reaching out of strangers to help on things in a serendipitous way.

For several months, I've been trying to figure out how to do triloom weaving on the 7' triloom I bought early last summer. Well, the first two attempts were a bust. After trying and failing twice to work on a shawl for my mother, I was about ready to give up and sell the loom. Couldn't get the hang of that darn loom.

Well, I was complaining about it over on Ravelry, and low and behold, this wonderfully nice lady named Sheila from over an hour away, volunteered to come over and help me sort it out. Since this loom is huge, you can't exactly meet at the local coffee shop - it's just not a portable kind of hting.

What a nice lady. She set me up by marking the loom with tape notating the nail count, showed me that it's much easier to have the yarn hanging from the TOP of the loom's frame, so you don't have to trip over the yarn on the floor. She also showed me how to check religiously to make sure there are no floats. Gosh, she had so much patience, and thanks to her help, I'm now working on a shawl once again - this time in emerald green. I'm still keeping fingers crossed!

Rewards of Decluttering

Well I've been really trying to do a little bit of decluttering each day for about a week now. I have begun to make small strides, but each drawer, each bookshelf and each shelf full of clutter cleared away has made me feel really proud of my progress. I'm trying to simplify my life. Eventually, this may include me downsizing and moving into a smaller, more compact home, but for the time being, I'm just releasing (giving or throwing away) things that no longer than a use anymore. Trying to create a more simple, less chaotic environment so hopefully my life will reflect my surroundings.

While sorting through my nightstand, I was dumbstruck to find a set of notes that I'd carefully kept for YEARS (since November of 2000 to be exact) but hadn't been able to find in so long that I'd mistakeningly thought I accidentally threw it away or lost it some time ago. What a lucky find!!! It was a one-day seminar on handling conflicts with others, by being more understanding of the differences between each of us that makes us unique. It really was a big mind opener and has helped me deal with coworkers, loved ones and friends in a much more realistic and peaceful way over the past ten years. Imagine my happiness and suprise at finding these notes once again! And they resurfaced at a time in my life when I'm experiencing some turmoil again - so I'm grateful to have found it.

Sometimes when I find something that I long ago cherished, it feels like the greatest gift. I look forward to more things surfacing as I continue to dig, pitch, throw, and and reclaim.

Ask Yourself This

I am trying, really TRYING to get a better work/life balance lately. With the new job, it is going very well, but seems to take every ounce of time, energy and focus that I have out of me. My boss had warned me that in the beginning, I'd be extremely busy and putting in a lot of hours, which is understandable since it's a totally new sales field for me - and the first time I have down outside sales entirely. Always before, I was inside sales, with a bit of outside client interaction and a lot of tradeshows and company events - but now I do everything myself and I'm on the run all day - and work on my paperwork and proposals and prep work late into the night. Luckily I've been having some success - I've sold two accounts recently and have several more that should be happening really soon. I'm doing well, but need to learn to do well in less time so that I have time and energy left for a life.

All work and little play is making me a dull girl!! I haven't been reading, crafting or interacting with my friends as much. Gosh, I haven't been to knit group in so long. Haven't had time to knit, weave, or even spin very much.

So this week, I decided to go to a Unity class at night and it's a weekly group of 12 people that will meet one evening a week for seven weeks. We will be studying and reflecting on the book Ask Yourself This by Wendy Craig Purcell. The book isn't a typical "how to" book that tells YOU how to find your spiritual self. Instead, it gently guides you into asking questions that will lead YOU to find your own answers and your strengthen your own relationship with the God of your being. The questions this week, in the first chapter were: What do I know for sure? How big is my God? How wide is my circle (How open am I to being open to meeting and interacting with new people and those different from me?) How much room do I give God to work it out? Is faith or fear guiding my decisions?

The group of people I'm meeting with are doing wonders for widening my own circle and I have enjoyed them already! The first week with them gave me a chance to reflect and share other people's spiritual insights, which is refreshing.

I'm still doing that focus on my Consciousness Raising affirmation that I linked to last time. Rebecca and Martha, thanks for joining me on it! I even posted my affirmation in several places - in the car on the visor, in my cube at work, and carry it in my purse. By affirming it several times a day, I think I've raised my own consciousness and hope that it is contributing to raising the well-being of all.

This week, I'm committing to asking and answering the next chapter in the book, and the next set of questions. I'm also committing to giving myself and my family more time and focus - easing up, at least a bit, on work.

I'm affirming the best for all of us - keep your chin up everybody. It's going to get better - and for me, it already is. I just have to focus more on gratitude for the things that are good and recognize the good for what it is - have faith in things that seem out of kilter or unfair, because it all will be okay in the long run.

People Coming Together - Campaign for Consciousness

I've been feeling irritable, lonely, negative and disconnected lately - it's easy to feel that way - with the economy being so bad, and in my personal circumstances, Bob and I are away from each other so much (not by choice, but circumstances). Sometimes there seems to be no obvious light at the end of the tunnel, not only for us personally, but the whole country and beyond seems to be a compilation of nothing but "bad news." So I decided to shake myself out of my doldrums today and go to church at Unity (my spiritual home) - where I always get a positive lift. I was afraid they were going to have a sad and depressing 9/11 service, but instead, the service touched on 9/11 - but on the courageous acts and sense of oneness that came from it. So instead of the service being a "downer" it was a reminder of what is best in ALL of us. I felt really really uplifted and so VERY glad I went.

They have a brand new minister there, who just started last week, and she is SO inspiring. She's both amazing musically and in communicating her message in a way that really touches your heart and makes you want to take ACTION to bring about more good in the world.

One thing she read aloud to everyone is the Scott Heiferman, Meetup CEO, his message for "Fellow Meetuppers" on how Meetup first got started. Did you ever hear that story? If not, go read the September 9th blog entry on the link attached and be moved. If you don't want to go there, I'll summarize by simply saying, way less eloquently, that the phoneomen of Meetup started because Scott Heiferman was inspired by the sense of community that he suddenly felt amongst all his previously "go in the house and ignore your neighbors" mentality in his own neighborhood. On the event of 9/11, he saw his neighbors transformed, at least for a while, into caring REAL neighbors who talked with one another, who waved when they went into the house, who stopped and talked to one another outside in the yard for a change. He decided to launch a website to get people AWAY from their computers and into meeting one another in PERSON.

So I feel really uplifted today - and much less sorry for myself - wondering what I can do to be more active in my community. I started by staying after the service to meet people, and to sign up for a class that is a group of church members meeting together each week to study a book called, "Ask Yourself This" by Wendy Craig-Purcell. I've been doing way more bellyaching lately than praying and meditating. It's time that I start doing the things that give me hope in myself, and in the world, again. That's my commitment - to lift my vision higher.

Also, I am participating in the Campaign for Consciousness - 40 days of Daily Affirmation which goes from September 10 through October 19th - it will be forty days of lifting the consciousness for the benefit of the entire world. "Transforming the world one thought at a time." If you'd like to join me, go to the link, print out the three paragraph affirmation and recite it every day for the next 40 days.

Thanks to all of you who are part of my life - either in person or through the internet, and may we each lift up our thoughts to support and sustain one another. My thoughts ARE with you.