This year, to be honest, I just ain't feeling the fireworks. I feel blah. Others around me seems blah. Everyone seems stressed-out and just getting by. With the price of everything (gasoline, food etc.) going up sky high, people really seem unusually on edge. I don't know too many really genuinely happy people right now.
With a much-needed 3-day weekend approaching, I have to confess that I'm looking more forward to having an extra day off then to actually celebrating Independence Day.
I've been feeling tired, old and world weary.
At any rate, in spite of a sinking and almost scared feeling at times, I realize that I've been holding my own - not sinking into a mental depression, which I have always been prone to. Instead, I've been doing a lot of self ass-kicking, forcing myself to hang in there and find things to look forward to. Finding the smallest things that I can enjoy and taken pleasure in each day.
The other day, I found my old Gratitude Journal. Force myself to write down 3 things each day, however large or small, that I'm grateful for. When I focus on the gratitude, it makes me feel richer, happier, and appreciative.
My gratitudes for yesterday were: feeling better as I recover from a bad sinus infection (finally getting my voice back); eating a big juicy tomato from my garden; fixing the mistake I made 20 rows back on the Shoalwater Shawl I am knitting. It feels really GOOD to fix something that is screwed up.
It occurs to me that one of the most important life skills I hope to pass onto my daughter, and I think I learned it from my Mother, who has had a hell of a hard life, the real "secret" to life, if there is one, is the ability to hang on - no matter what, to make things better for yourself and not depend on anyone else to provide solutions. Make your own changes to get results. In that vein, nothing is more important than to do a self ass-kicking whenever you find yourself down for whatever reason.
So here's to fireworks - and lots of self-assessment in the coming days off. Best of all, a chance to enjoy what I have and be grateful for it.
4 comments:
I'm with you. I often force myself to do what is good for me for the sake of my daughter as well and it does work. Good luck and keep it up. I hope you start to feel better soon. Sometimes, I like to read some mind candy to help me out of the doldrums.
You're giving yourself some very sound advise sweetie. I'm glad you are choosing to look on the other side of things it makes for a much happier life. A person might look at the state of the world/country today and think that with all these huge problems and woes in the big scheme of things life is pointless, or depressing. But it is exactly this that expresses the axiom 'the sum of the parts is greater than the whole' so eloquently. Keep focus on all the truly wonderful things there are to be grateful for, they out weigh the not so great things ten thousand fold.
BTW I'm pretty good ass kicker so if the self ass kicking isn't going so well some day give me a holler. :o)
Good words Chelle, and ones I really needed to hear today. I usually get very down around any holiday for several reasons. I need to work on remembering what is good, because there is always plenty of that too.
I was reading a book last week and she put it perfectly - People should be allowed to retire in their 40s when they are feeling all used up, and required to return to work in their 60s when they are feeling useless. I also am glad for the extra day off. I have call all day Sunday, but still get to have 2 days off. Yay! That alone needs fireworks.
Sorry you stumbled on the Shoals, but at least it's fixed!
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