Saturday, September 02, 2006

September Morning - Ah!

Stay for just a while
Stay, and let me look at you
It's been so long, I hardly knew you
Standing in the door
Stay with me a while
I only want to talk to you
We've traveled halfway 'round the world
To find ourselves again
September morn
Neil Diamond "September Morn"

Is it really September already? After having a turbulent, busy and life-changing summer, I'm really ready for my favorite season, Fall, to arrive!

You'll notice I'm practicing diversion here - delivering a snippet of Neil Diamond and thoughts of the beginning of Fall because, I don't have knitting done. I've been focused on my new job, the start of school, and the house buying and selling process. My nerves are still on end, REALLY on end over everything.

My goal for August was to finish some unfinished objects, especially my Simply Lace socks. That wasn't done. I hardly touched my knitting all through August. So I'm not going to make any knitting-related goals for September. In fact, in general, I'm going to place a lot less stress on myself about knitting period!!! Frankly, I've got way too many other fish to fry. Knitting is supposed to be FUN, not productive, but sometimes I forget that, because I have a very driven personality.

Though I hope to do a bit of knitting over this 3-day weekend, I won't do much because I need to get in gear and really start packing.

This week I've felt weird - emotional, teary, frustrated and just plain cranky. My confidence in myself has just taken a nosedive and I'm not quite sure why - well, I think I know why, it's a whole bunch of things. For some reason, that old children's movie, NEVERENDING STORY keeps coming to mind, the part where the old man tells Atrayu "You've got to have confidence in yourself, move forward. You have to BELIVE IN YOURSELF or they'll destroy you."

I started researching confidence on the Internet last night and I found this fantastic (and short) article called, "Proof Positive: Power Ahead With a Winning Attitude." Since my anxieties and fears have really playing up this week - I'm going to do as the article suggests and name each one of them "Can't" "Second Guess" "Fear" "Not Enough" "What If" and "Oh No!" - I'm going to gently lead them out of my mind and take them all out for a beer - or maybe wine, simply because I prefer it.


Laura said...

You're brave and strong. I have complete confidence in you and am amazed at how you've loaded up your plate. As energetic and optimistic as you are, you'll do fine, I'm totally sure. :)

You never HAVE to knit, you know. ;)

Carol said...

I love Neil and "September Morn" is one of my all time favorites. I have seen him in concert many times.

As for confidence, as your friends remember we are always here to remind you had awesome you are. I enjoy your enthusiasm, and intrest you show in so many things.

I think what you are going through is something each one of us probably goes through from time to time.

An old friend told me long ago that "Life is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs and all we have to do when we feel the downs is hang on tight and wait for the ups."

With all that is going on in your life right now I think your ups will be arriving very soon.