Ommmmmmmm

Find the calm.

My goal this week was to meditate every day . . . I needed to. Because I didn't, because I decided instead to live life one frantic day into another, things were pretty hectic, upset, feeling wound up. But it wasn't due to outside things like usual, it was all within ME. I was choosing to stress myself out over a variety of things, the sweater gone awry, the job change that I still feel worried about financially. Other personal things going on. But mainly just MEEE. I don't feel content within my own skin.

Uppermost is the lingering resentment about my job change - even though the new department I'm in is totally low-stress and much more low-key, I realized late this week that I am still feeling bitter about the other department, still feeling upset about it and hadn't totally let go. I have thought, "But if only . . . " the potential of success I might have had in the other department. And frankly, money is a BIG part of it.

My personality is naturally high-strung - and this dept is the opposite. Can I really fit into a "peace love and groove" kind of place? I think I landed there for a reason.

I've been listening to one of my favorite gurus, Dr. Wayne Dyer, and in particular, his CDs called, "There is a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem." He encourages you, if you can't meditate for 20 minutes at a time, try finding every peaceful moment you can throughout the day and just going within for a moment or two. I did that several times yesterday, once before driving home while I was sitting in my car! Not exactly an ashram or anything, but amazingly, I learned when I worked at the funeral home that most people express a LOT of emotion in the car. Some people sing and relieve stress through music - some people cry. I've done that many times before. But what I did yesterday was go within for just a few minutes, and suddenly I heard an inner voice telling me, "This too is for a purpose. Your lesson here is to just settle in and relax. This job lesson is about letting go and accepting what is - not running away, not stewing, just letting go."

So I'm going to try to just go with it and see if this is where I should be for a while. I'm also going to just do some foregiveness meditation this week - mainly forgiving myself for what I still preceive as failure and letting myself just breathe!

Phyllis gave me a wonderful little book that I can't wait to dive into. It is called, "This Year I Will" by M.J. Ryan. I just started it last night. It's a book that helps you actually achieve your yearly goals. Too often, I want to achieve something . . . mainly weight loss . . . and then I give up within days or weeks and go back to my unhealthy ways. M.J. Ryan, the author, coaches the reader through making changes that can actually stick long-term. She goes into the reasons why we let go of the changes we want to make and gives you strategies to succeed.

This morning I did my treadmill. Yeah!!!

I'm going to a Weight Watchers meeting this morning. I need to get refocused on healthy eating. I keep waffling between different weight loss plans. I need to just go to WW today and focus on healthy eating and exercise.

Pure D Aggravation

I was so proud of myself. I'd finished all the pieces to the lace sweater, had woven in all the ends, and was patiently sewing it together tonight. Picked up stitches around the neckband ready to finish up the finishing when all of a sudden . . . as I started to pick up the stitches at the top of the right sleeve I realized, "Oh no, I sewed the sleeve in wrongside out. Shit!"

"Damn. Damn. Damn."

Rip, rip, rip.

Then realized, even worse, that in unsewing it, I had damaged the sleeve too much to salvage it. It's a mess. Now I need to re-knit the right sleeve before I can get back to finishing. This sweater has been a pain all around. Everything is harder/more complicated than it has to be. I believe it's symbolic of my whole life right now.

Starting over on that sleeve. Again. I could cry. Maybe I'll cry later. I need to cry about a lot of petty things. Is this hormonal or what? I'm putting the damn sweater away for tonight. Not doing another thing on it when I'm this flustered.

Addendun: Note the next morning: The Sweater Saga gets even worse. After writing this entry, I marched upstairs and thought, "You know what, the sleeve isn't really that messed up, it's just the perfectionist in me wanting it to be perfect, so I decided to go ahead and finish up the neck and see how the sleeve looked once it actually was sewn in. Well, the sleeve was okay, not great, but not terribly noticeable to a person riding by on a horse etc., etc. So I had everything finished but the two side seams, so I decided to "try it on" to see how it would fit.

Oh Lordy, it's not exactly too big - my gauge was on target and the measurements were right, but the thing comes down like an oversized tunic and the main problem is, it comes down really low in both the back and front. It's scooped L-O-W. It looks like a big, baggy, holey monstronsity on my body. Granted, I haven't sewn the two side seams yet. Maybe that will make a big difference. But I don't think this sweater is a success. After spending two months and a lot of yarn, it may sit at the bottom of a drawer somewhere languishing for the next few years. Arrggggh!!!!

And it looked so cute on the model.

Look What's Blocking

I finally finished knitting both the front and back of this "Lacy Raglan Tee" that I've been working on for two months. They are both blocking now. I'm knitting up the sleeves and once I finish those and the sweater is dry, the sewing will begin.

Soon I'll have a finished sweater. Yeah!

Music is Good For the Soul

I've been going through a transition lately - at work. I don't want to go into too many details here, but suffice it to say that I was in a sales job where my sales weren't quite high enough - I was close SO CLOSE to making it in that department, where they had high sales quotas. I struggled so hard for a year to try to make it in my other job, and now I've lost that opportunity. Now instead I've been transferred to another department that is kind of a "step down" in many ways. It was my first day there in that department today. While the stress is much less, and the people extremely nice and friendly, I still feel bad.

So I'm disappointed in myself and feel kind of like a failure. I know in the broader perspective of world peace and all that, this small disappointment in myself is minor - but it feels big right now.

Speaking of "In the Garden" - I was talking about gardens the other day, and look what came my way.



To cheer me up - something came in the mail just in my time of need. Lynn H. of ColorJoy is not only an accomplished knitter and artist, but she's also an extremely talented musician!! I finally bought one of her CDs, she and her husband Brian sing 1920's songs and are accompanied by him Ukelele and her on Bass. I love 1920's music, have always been entranced by the Flapper era, and I swear I think Lynn and her hubby are reincarnated from that time. It's eerie. I LOVED their music. Now I want to get their other CD as well.

I loved SEVERAL of the songs, but my favorites were "Tip Toe Through the Tulips" (I'm old enough to remember Tiny Tim singing that one); also "If You Want the Rainbow, You Must Have Rain." It's ironic that in her last comment to me, in the last entry, Lynn suggested that I play music and sing along. That very day she commented, I had her CD playing in my car and found myself singing along to her songs - my voice is not nearly as lovely as hers, but no one can hear or complain about my off-key warbling when I'm on the highway with the windows rolled up/air conditioning on.

The world needs more Lynn H's, I'll tell you that! I've read her blog for years, loved her knitting, her designing and her fine attitude. But now I enjoy tipping through the tulips with her as well (not literally but musically).

A Lovely Garden Gift

We spent the weekend in St. Louis. It was fun, as always. When we first drove up, Aunt Eve enthusiastically showed us the Mother's Day gift her kids, Gary and Robin, had given her this year. Instead of the usual candy or perfume etc., they decided that Aunt Eve needed a lovely garden to surround her when she drinks her coffee in the morning. In the area surrounding their patio, they used to have a boundary of large, unruly overgrown bushes.

They ripped the old bushes out, and it was a long process, because the bushes had deep roots. They had to get a stump pulverizer or something like that from the rental store and then haul away all those old bushes.

When all the brush was cleared and new topsoil brought in, they planned and planted a lovely garden, with plants that will bloom every year. Nice!! She loves her garden. I thought it was so sweet that they thought long and hard about what she would really want and put their attention into giving her something this thoughtful and special.

I need to start putting more thought into the gifts that I give this year. How can I make them memorable and special? And what can I give to myself and my family, simple changes I could make that would make a world of difference in the enjoyment of our home environment? Interesting to consider.

10 Weeks of Changes and New Beginnings Report. (My week runs from Sunday to Sunday):


I looked over my list that I made last week and I think it may need some tweaking.

Choose one Habit: Yes, it's the treadmill and that's a good one and a necessary one for me. I wanted to do the treadmill every single day for 20 minutes. I accomplished 5 days - but then we went to St. Louis over the weekend and didn't do any exercise there. But I think getting on the treadmill and aiming for a daily form of exercise if something I need to really strive for in order to get in any at all - because this exercise habit is one of my most challenging healthy habits to develop.

Choose one luxury: I chose taking bubble baths twice a week. But I think I need a different luxury choice each week because part of what is a luxury to me is variety!! For this week, I am going to mediate every morning for a few minutes and visualize positive results. I need to do more positive self-talk and I think meditation and visualization will help uplift my attitude.

Decluttering: I finished the decluttering last week of my yarn stash. I'm so proud of myself. I gave, sold or otherwise ridded myself of the yarn in my stash that I didn't truly love. I also made a list of knitting projects I want to knit, most of which I LOVE and had forgotten about. So I feel really good about the destashing.

For next week: decluttering will be my bathroom. I want to clean out under the sink and in the drawers and get rid of all the old products that I haven't used since the last Ice Age.

A project I'd like to work on: Finish knitting my brown lacey tee.

Unexpected Invitations

Kurt Vonnegut once said, "Unexpected travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God." I've never forgotten that line from one of his novels. So in the spirit of dancing lessons . . . when our friend Jan decided to unexpectedly invite us to last night's show of "Sweet Charity" at the outdoor theater, Starlight, we gladly and quickly accepted. I'm so glad we did! Paige Davis, former, TRADING SPACES star, played the role of Sweet Charity extremely well. You can click on the link and see parts of the songs/dance/music. The show was fantastic, the weather unseasonably cool and a light breeze was refreshing and made the whole night a magical treat. Though we didn't get home until midnight, and I had to get up at 6:00 a.m. for work, it was well worth the loss of sleep. It was the most fun I've had in a long time - work has been simply horrible. A night out in the cool breeze being magically entertained was just the thing we all needed. I love live theater.

The next time you get a suggestion or an invitation from someone, instead of shrugging it off and saying, "Nah, I'd better not . . . " say "Yes, I'll do it." Adventure and unexpected turns are what make life worth living. I wish I had more of those unexpected happy events. Maybe I need to create more of them for myself, or invite others along for equally fun and unexpected adventures. A thought. Yes.

This is the hibicous (sp?) plant that was a transplant from Grammy's house. She LOVES these big colorful flowers. Here you go, Grammy, enjoy! These bush is loaded with little buds.


As you can tell, I'm deliberately seeking out the good. So . . . Another fun thing I did last weekend, on Sunday in fact, was to venture out into the hot sun to attend The Studio's Stashbuster trade and buy/sell stash sale out in their parking lot. It was hot - really hot that day! So the part of me that hates hot, humid weather wanted to beg off, but again, I made myself GOOOOOO.

First, I inventoried my stash on Friday night and Saturday. Made a list of all the yarn I have, separated out all the yarn I don't need (a lot) and bagged it up. Then I also frogged several projects where I like the yarn, but have lost passion for the long forgotten and abandoned project. Now I have yarn I really love, and a list of projects I'm really excited about completing, most of which I already own - yeah!!! This was done by prompting from Elysbeth on her 10 week "New Year's" project. I've joined her on that - and one of my goals was getting my stash in line. Surprisingly, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I'd done most of the major culling last Fall when I moved in here.

Mom and I had a great time at the Stashathon. Yes, it was hot. But the Studio gave out cold water bottles, and we kept ducking inside periodically to get cooled off. I met several fun people there, including one lady who is riding the bus with us to Stithces. Plus, Stacey was sitting out there, knitting in the parking lot, and the object she was knitting, called, "Wrap me up" made me covet that wrap. Before I knew it, I went inside, purchased the pattern - it was made of Noro yarn - which happens to be what several knitters who were destashing were selling. One destasher, in particular, was selling 7 balls of a discontinued colorway of Noro for 7 skeins for $14. So I decided to buy it - then add a few more balls of a companionable colorway, and I also added 2 skeins of Lamb's Pride worsted in lime green to go with the rest. Here it is - one of my future next projects:

New Beginnings

Over on her blog Elysbeth is talking about preparing for the Jewish New Years (September) by starting to clean up and clean out - as well as beginning to form new POSITIVE habits for the New Year. She points out that even for non-Jewish people, starting a prep for New Years makes more sense in the summer months than in the winter. It's easier, and in summer, I'm just more in the mood to pare down and simplify in every way. It's hot, I don't want a bunch of extra "stuff" weighing me down.

So she challenged those who care to participate to pare down with accountability by joining her. I'm doing that. Here is what she asks:

Choose One Habit that you'll do for 21 days, a positive. Mine: Get on my treadmeal every single day for at least 21 days.

Choose One Luxury. Mine: a long, luxurious bubble bath at least twice a week. Getting to bed earlier - not staying up past 10:00 p.m. and working on one really satisfying knitting project at a time.

Pick a Project: Finish the milk chocolate lacy tee to take with me to Stitches.

Something to declutter: Stash reorganization: Reigning in the stash before I go to Stitches - making a list of every yarn project I own and figuring out which ones I'm ready to once again frog, recycle the yarn and perhaps give/sell to others who might enjoy things I no longer am passionate about.

It's also a time of year I'm more motivated to try to lose weight, as well. Meals can be simple if I let them be, such as - sliced tomatoes, scrambled eggs for breakfast; lunch: salad with very little dressing; dinner: lean fish or chicken, veggies and a small salad.

As Elysbeth says, the nice thing about this plan is to provide accountability without shame - I've set my sites on what I hope to do, but I'm doing what's doable and not beating myself up if I don't accomplish everything.

That's sounds easy . . . like Sunday morning, as the song says. Summer really SHOULD be simple - and I'm determined to keep it that way.

Color, Color, Give Me Color

Here I am, wearing my favorite project EVER - the one I finished in mid-May and am talking about on here ad naseum. The reason I drag it out again is because I have been following, with great interest, an ongoing thread over on Knitter's Review (my favorite forum), about the topic of Handpainted Yarns.

One thoughtful and amusing commenter mentioned that she wasn't all that wild about handpainted yarns, that there are many color combinations she sees, especially by well-intentioned but less than skillful hand-dyers who looked more like "clown barf." I was interested in her point of view and started thinking about it. What followed her thought-provoking comment were six solid pages of folks, nearly all unanimous, jumping on her bandwagon and agreeing that didn't like the color combinations put out by many of the hand-dyers. Many of them mentioned that they liked only the solid or semi-solid colors, especially when used with pattern stitches, such as lace.

After reading these comments for days, and with the opinions become more and more stern about the inadvisiblity of using multi-colors in anything but socks, I couldn't take it any longer and just HAD to speak up as a voice in the extreme minority.

You can read the whole discussion by going to Knittersreview. I'll briefly restate my opinion:

I committed the cardinal sin of the unsophisicated knitter by making my shawl in handpainted multi-color sock yarn. I'll probably be making even more in the future. Not a mistake in my eyes - though they are perhaps untrained since I don't have a Ph.D. in color science nor an art degree.

Confession: I like color - I LOVE color - and most often NOT in solids/semi-solids. It seems that those with better "color sense" prefer color to be used in a conversative way - not me. That's why I've made this:



and this:



I guess I'm out of the mainstream. Wouldn't be the first time (nor hopefully the last!)

Personally, this is all FUN to me. I don't knit for a living. Luckily for me, I'm not a professional or I might not enjoy it so much. I knit for fun. I make colorful things for fun - to spice up life, which sometimes is way too serious and depressing. This is one area of my life where I can cut loose and not be critical of myself or others.

I realize that some people might not like my use of color - and that most folks are more conservative in their choice of color - especially when combining more than one color in a garment, and that's okay. But I had to speak up for the more "colorful" among us - yes, I like colorful garments and the people who make and wear them.

The Thing I Hate About Knitting

I remember when I first started knitting. I was 6 years old, and Grammy and My Mom taught me. But I was left handed, trying to knit their right handed way. Actually, though, the handedness thing did not deter me. What caused me to put away the needles for 36 years was twofold: 1) all there was to knit with at the time was ugly acryllic Redheart; and 2) everything I made turned out ugly. I would make an ill-fated mistake, not know how to fix it and rip the project out in frustration even before anyone could rescue my work. So I stopped knitting for the same reason I stopped sewing: the projects were long and hard and turned out fugly.

Now, since restarting the knitting hobby 4 years ago, I sometimes make projects that I regret. Usually it's more a result of my choosing a project that doesn't look good on me (the green puke-colored tank top made from sale yarn . . . it was sale yarn for a reason!), or that I just don't ever wear or use (i.e. the countless scarves in my closet). Oh, and don't forget the collection of felted bags I've made and seldom carry.

Fortunately, though still not a prolific knitter, I am usually satisfied, sometimes VERY satisfied with my knitted results. Best case: my recent Forest Canopy Shawl I recently completed in mid-May. It took about 6 weeks or so to knit, but I was deliriously happy with the results.

But since then, I've been working on a lace sweater that I hoped to wear to Stitches in early August. I've been knitting on it for a month. And I finally completed the back last night. That's all I've done - a back of a sweater in a month. Guess what? I compared it to photo in the pattern book today, and it's not right at all - the top part of the thing is wrong. There are supposed to be little flame-like points coming up off the cables and drifting into the reverse stockinette upper back. Instead, mine are weird fireworks-like offshoots that look like firecrackers that fizzled. Plus, I think I'm going to run out of yarn early, even though I bought an extra skein and now they are out of that dyelot. Damn. Damn. Damn.

I hate knitting sometimes.

Sweater Problem Update: Sometimes nothing just NOTHING replaces the help of an objective set of expert eyes to catch what you are doing wrong. I went over to the Studio Thursday night after work and the Dr. Knitting Fix It (Cindy Craig of the Sutdio) helped me figure out where I'd gone wrong. Luckily, I'd installed lifelines along the way, so we were able to rip back - had to rip 1/3 of the back to fix it, but the good news is IT IS FIXED AND BACK ON TRACK! Yay!

The European Traveler Returns

Here she is - back at last. Exhausted. Excited. Homesick.

Home.

Yes!

This Perfect Day

I meant to post this yesterday but was too tired after having such a beautiful but busy day. It started with me getting my eyebrows waxed - always a good, clean feeling. But the fact that my Beauty Brands appointment was at 8:00 a.m. got me out of the house early on a Saturday when I usually spend time mulling around for a few hours and killing most of the morning.

Next stop was to pick up my Mom and visit our favorite yarn haunt, the Studio which I visited to pay for my bus trip to Chicago next month. While there, we ran into Carol who was picking up some lovely shawl yarn. Most of the folks in my yarn group have officially been bitten by the shawl bug. We're thinking shawls, shawls, shawls, let me tell ya! So we sat down at the big wooden knitter's gathering table and studied the shawl patterns. We picked out at least 10 that we'd like to make. We were just in a shawl admiring trance. Even my Mom who normally only knits socks started getting the glaze in her eyes.

While in said hynotic state, I was smitten by the beauty of a new display at the front of the store. Prominently displayed, along with sea shells and fishing net etc, was this lovely new (to me) yarn manfactured by Handmaiden and called "Sea Silk" - oh my gosh, it is lovely both to the eye and to the touch. . The photo I took here in my dimly lit living room doesn't do the yarn justice. If you go to their website, you can get a better idea of the true colors - and the colorway I bought is called "Midnight" and is shades of purple, navy, bronze - I can't even describe it, but very pretty and amazingly soft. You can go to the Handmaiden website and see a more accurate photo of this yummy yarn! This is destined to become a shawl as well. From what I figure, a medium sized shawl would require 2 hanks with each having approximately 440 yards.

My Mom and I spent two delicious hours in the The Studio and while there, we met a couple of other interesting people who were shopping around and admiring the same yarn and patterns we were. Linda, I also hope that you will consider joining us for Stitches, not to enable you or anything, but I hope you sign up and ride the bus with us. We will have a blast.

While there, we met another lady, who I think works part-time in the Studio, who not only enabled me in my shawl envy, but also broke my resolve not to buy more yarn books for a while. The book, NO SHEEP FOR YOU by Amy R. Singer, is packed full of patterns I actually want to make - really. Not just luke warm, but I wish I could just drop everything and knit several things, especially the lovely Tuscany shawl on page 50 of the book. I want to make that one in bright red. By the way, I now have so many "to be knit" shawl patterns that I am making an official shawl notebook.

When my Mom and I finally pulled overselves away from The Studio, we went to lunch at my favorite restaurant called "Andres." It's a Suisse restaurant that Mom introduced me to at the tender age of 10. Though I love eating out, no other restaurant even comes CLOSE to this place. We used to go eat there every single Saturday while growing up. It was a mother-daughter ritual. Consequently, the place is seeped in fond memories. No matter how much I change all these years, Andres hasn't. It is a Suisse chateau interior and exterior, the amora of the fresh pastries, gourmet cuisine and lovely charming setting just puts me in nirvana immediately. They have the best, freshest tasting iced tea anywhere, and on a hot summer day like yesterday, I drank several glasses of tea, enjoyed my favorite Quiche Lorraine. We ended the meal with a Glacier, the most delicious pastry and a longstanding favorite of mine. It was worth every calorie.


In the afternoon, I left the Plaza and went back home to make dinner for a friend of ours. We made chicken on the grill, served with a big salad and sauteed squash and onions. Yum!

We ended the evening by watching an excellent move called "Flags of Our Fathers" directed by Clint Eastwood and it's the story behind the famous photo of the five World War II soldiers who are raising the American flag on the mountaintop in Japan. It's really a thought-provoking movie.

While watching it, I had a chance to work more on my current Work In Progress called "Pretty Raglan Tee" from Nashua Handknits in the yarn "Cilantro." The color is Milk Chocolate. So far, I've been working for about 3 weeks on the back. Since it's lace, it isn't fast - and let's face it, I'm just NOT a fast knitter. Here is what I have done so far. If I work on it much today, I might complete the back.

Austria Alps

Here's a bit of interesting triva as my girl explores Innsbrook, Austria. An Austrian architect named Victor Gruen left Vienna for the US in 1938 with $8 in his pocket. He carried memories of the coffee shops so common in his beloved Austria. With these fond memories, he set about designing a place where people could sit in pleasant surroundings and have plenty of room to stroll and relax and do some shopping. He further thought the "center" should have a larger "anchor" business at each end. With his invention, he could be called the inventor of the indoor shopping center.

We finally got an email from the daughter. She's been having a great time, and especially enjoyed her few days in Switzerland, where her room overlooked the mountains. She is missing home nearly as much as we're missing her. She returns in a few days, and I can't wait.

Had a crying jag at work today. I don't know if it was the stress of low sales, or a little emotional meltdown from missing my daughter. But I'm a mess at any rate.

I can use some mindless knitting this weekend. I'm going to sign up for the bus trip that the Studio is sponsoring to Stitches. I can't believe my daughter's trip to Europe is almost over, and my trip to Chicago is just over a month away. Time goes so quickly. Summer marches on, the heat and humidity intensify. This is my least favorite time of year. But I have my air conditioning and my knitting to take the summer heat off. Thank goodness.

The Hills Are Alive . . . .

The girl is in Switzerland, but we haven't heard from her. ET phone home! It's been a couple of days since we've heard word of how the trip is going. Her trip is exactly half over. I officially miss her and am glad that she will be home in exactly one week.

Went to meet the knitting girls last night, Mary, Carol, Laura and Carolyn. Mary finished her Charlotte's web shawl - lovely beyond words. Laura finished her Flower Box shawl, and it is fabulous, and there just aren't enough adjectives. Thanks to them, I'm now yearning even MORE to make another. I had preliminarily started another but it didn't quite suit - not the right yarn nor pattern for my tastes, so I ripped that out.

Last night at the knitting group, I knit on a pair of toe-up socks. Only after I knitted for over two hours on those socks did I realize that they are too wide for my narrow foot. So before leaving last night . . . I ripped everything I'd knitted. I guess that I really NEEDED to do some mindless stockinette anyway, so it was no big loss.

In a Parisian State of Mind

My girl is currently in Paris. I miss her. We are watching Amelie, set in Paris, and trying to imagine the sights she's seeing as we follow her travel plans from the copy of her place-by-place itenerary.

We spoke with her a couple of times recently. She says she is having so much fun. Ah, sigh. I'm happy for her.

What did we do over the lonely weekend? Moped around mostly. We went to the Farmer's Market to buy fresh produce so I'd be motivated to cook healthier foods again. Since the girl has been gone, I've been eating everything that isn't nailed down. Today we bought fresh cauliflower, brocolli, tomatoes and summer squash as well as fresh onions. Maybe I'll cook something.

We went to visit my Grammy and my Mom, since my favorite uncle and his boys are in town. Grammy, my Mom and I all three knitted miniature sock earrings that look like this: They are the Los Lobe so tiny sock earring pattern from Carol Breitner, CJB@wdn.com. I made this one little sock in about an hour. Very fast and easy - tiny needles! But we're probably going to wear these as earrings or lapel pins when we go to Stitches in August.

Speaking of Stitches, the plans are in process and beginning to take shape. Mom and I, along with Laura, are going down on the bus with the Studio gang. L-o-n-g Roadtrip! It will be so much fun. I look forward to it.

In my Stitches wardrobe preparation, I've been trying to get some things quickly knitted up for the trip, but nothing's been quick. For about two weeks or so, since Memorial Day, I've been working on a lacy summer sweater that I'm battling a bit right now. Currently working on the first piece, the back. No pictures yet. It was looking very cute for a while, but I've run into a bit of confusion right now with the pattern. Probably something I'm doing wrong. Ripping may be (and probably will be) involved.

Have a nice week everyone. It's been a bit too hot and humid for my liking, but I'm grumpy right now with the girl gone, so I'm not sure if it's the heat or the wistfulness that is making me feel just not-quite-right.

English Channel

I haven't blogged since the girl left. Last weekend, we had the chance to see her and her group of traveling students/musicians perform at a send-off concert in Wichita. I was so proud of her I cried. They sang beautifully and made me so proud. The kids selected for this trip were selected not only for their musical ability, but more importantly, their character, so it meant a lot to me and was very emotional.

We had quite the drama getting her out and to the airport on her trip Tuesday. I went to work that day . . . and Bob was seeing her off that day. Well, on the way the airport, he and the daughter stopped for a "quick lunch" that turned into a nail-biting adventure. They were both so stressed out that they locked the keys in the car. They had to call a locksmith . . . get into the car . . . and drive like speed demons to the airport to catch up with the traveling party. I was sick to my stomach the whole day, worried that she might miss her flight and then all would be for naught. I kept getting frantic nervous phone calls, but they made it . . . ah!!

We haven't heard much from the girl, because they have such a frantic schedule. But we know she arrived and is safe. We had one hurried, breathless phone call verifying that much, along with the giggles of other kids in her party. She's fine. She is I'm sure having a BLAST! But I miss her.

We have a copy of her travelogue, so we know for instance that yesterday she crossed the English Channel. Today she is in France. It's strangely quiet around here. I miss her.

My girl has been gone for 5 days - five long days. I miss her something fierce!

What Finger Are You?

You Are the Index Finger

You are ambitious, driven, and capable. You aren't afraid to take responsibility for your actions - or place the blame on whoever deserves it. You are honest, free thinking, and objective. You see things in your own way - and you aren't afraid to let everyone know about it. You get along well with: The Thumb Stay away from: The Ring Finger

What Finger Are You?

Rip Roar'n Week

Ughhh. Preparing for daughter's trip abroad.

Passport
Foreign Currency
Sheet music
Packing every conceivable thing under the sun that she needs or might need - in a suitcase that isn't too heavy or too big and meets airline regulations

New software system at work - yes it was installed this week and has been making work life hellish on top of personal hellishness at home.

I am so exhausted

I haven't even had time to figure everything out or even to make sure I've bought, packed, prepared and provided everything. And she's leaving in just a few days.

I'll miss her. I'll worry.

I'm exhausted.



It's an experience of a lifetime.

But preparing for it is an experience of a lifetime for me.

Whew!

Hobo Purse Revisited

Started out this way - bleh boring!

Finished: Not so boring and definitely

more hobo like.

A Bird Story - And A Treadmill

We woke up this bright sunny (for once) Spring morning to the sound of birds, and when we went to get our coffee, look who was sleeping out on the deck railing? A bird. I don't know what kind of bird. But he appears to be asleep. He was out there, sleeping, sitting, daydreaming (whatever) for quite some time. He remained there, oblivious, while we snapped his photo several times and stood by and watched him, drinking our coffee.

Bob wonders if this tranquil little bird thinks he's on a really, thick secure branch, since this railing is so close to the familiar tree -- not sure what he thinks. I was warned long ago by a science professor of mine NOT to anthromorphize animals and even pretend to know what they think. But if we once again had a cat, like we've recently contemplated, this bird wouldn't be safe sitting on the deck railing.

Eventually, after standing there watching him for a long time, we started hearing other birds calling out to him, perhaps saying "Wake up, you Dummy! Get out of there and back into the tree!" We're not sure. Is this bird stupid or merely trusting?

On a non-bird-related note - as of last weekend, I now have absotely NO EXCUSE not to exercise. When Bob and I were in St. Louie last weekend, we had a chance to workout on the hotel's treadmill and we really liked it. We've been considering getting one for quite some time, so we finally did over the Memorial Day holiday.

We've both been working out on it nearly every day this week. I skipped 2 days out of 7 so far, and I'd like to get on it every single day. So far, I'm on a 25 minute (1 mile) program with it, but I'm hoping to expand that out to 30 minutes this week. We still plan on going on our outdoor walks, but the reason I like having this treadmill is on days like the ones we've had lately (torrential rains) or on days in the summer when it is 100 degrees and 90% humidity, we can still exercise and have no excuse to get lazy.

We put it downstairs, in our basement, but we have a TV set up down there so we can workout in entertainment and comfort. So far, it's working out well.

The new element I need to bring into my lifestyle is excercise - not "work out until I drop and give up" exercise, but just doable sessions, doable amounts, every day. I really believe consistency is the key and it's something I always struggle with. I once heard a self-help tape that said, "A little is a LOT." I need to tape this into my subconscious. Every little bit I do in the way of everything good, but especially exercise, really helps make me healthier. That's right! Speaking of which, it's treadmill time. Catch you later.

I Can't Get No . . . Purse Making Satisfaction

Why is it that I can't seem to get no purse- making satisfaction? This is the cabled purse that I tried to make but mine came out wider and squatier than Alie's version in the shop. Actually, mine is the right length, according to the directions - it's 10" deep but instead of being Alie's 9" in width near the top - mine is a wider 13" in width, and lacks the tapered look, even though I did the decrease rounds. Mine has a kinda squarish/rectangled shape. I should have knit more length and maybe it wouldn't have appeared so wide? Also, I should have perhaps decreased more toward the top of the bag.

Ultimately, it probably doesn't matter, because I don't like this bag enough to spend the effort redoing it.

I don't actually have the handles sewn on yet, I'm just setting them there on top the purse for display purposes. I will sew them on this week - maybe. I'm not honestly very motiviated to finish this thing - but I suppose I will. I want to have something to carry at Stitches for a regular handbag.


You can't see it well here, but my Grammy, as usual, did an EXCELLENT job of sewing in a very neat, attractive lining (complete with requested side pocket). But we didn't sew in the magnetic snap yet, because the one I selected was so darn strong, we were afraid it would pull through the fabric. Weird magnet - it is super strength. I'm trying to decide whether to find a less super-strength magnetic closure to attach inside the purse (which would require me snipping into the lining) or if I should just attach a pretty button to the outside? Not sure. It needs something to keep it closed, but what? Hmmm.

When I think back on it, very few bags end up turning out like I want. I don't know why. They are cute enough, I suppose, but somehow I expect them to be more USEABLE and no matter what I do, they end up disappointing.

Maybe this one will grow on me? Not sure. I think it's like my Mom said, while we both enjoy making bags, we don't end up carrying them a lot. I'm not sure why - is it because they are floppy and unstructured, unlike a regular handbag? Any theories or insights would be appreciated - especially before I blindly fall in love with another bag pattern, then spend hours and good yarn making another one of these shelf-liners for my closet. Someone stop me, will ya? Or else give me the secret to making a truly well-loved bag project.

Time Well Spent in St. Louie-Louie

I don't know why, but many years ago, Bob and I started referring to his hometown as "St. Louie-Louie." (Probably because of the movie MEET ME IN ST. LOUIS). But anyhow, that's where we sojourned on Friday afternoon. We spent Friday and Saturday night at the Drury Inn and came back this (Sunday) evening. We had such a good time. I can't say enough about that Drury Inn, they even let you bring a small dog, so Domino, our Shit-zu tagged along. Our teen girl spent the weekend in Branson with a friends' family so we went by ourselves.



What a nice, peaceful FUN weekend we had together. We visited a few friends there, but mostly just walked down Memory Lane - going back to many of Bob's favorite haunts, including his childhood home. We saw a young woman sweeping the garage, so we walked up and introduced ourselves and asked her if we could peek into the backyard. Soon the woman's husband joined us out in the yard and we explained why we were staring at their house. When we told her Bob grew up in that house, she became very excited because they'd just moved in and wanted to hear the history of the house. Bob told her about the entire neighborhood, including the best local restaurants. She seemed really happy. We didn't go inside, because they said the house was full of unpacked boxes. But we had a chance to get to know this lovely couple a bit and we promised to send them some old photos and segments of home movies that showed the neighborhood in the 1960's and early '70s.



Many of the homes in University City, where Bob grew up, are made up of brick - real solid brick! The one at right is just one we snapped a picture of while walking by, but it typlifies the brick that is seen EVERYWHERE in this older neighborhood. I love these homes and wish we had more like them in the Kansas City area. Ah well, we don't. It's wood siding around here, and what can you do? They just don't make brick anymore - too expensive perhaps? Housing prices in St. Louis have skyrocketed much like they have here.





To the left is a photo of Bob's Aunt Renee on the left and my mother-in-law, Syl, on the right. We went to see Renee over the weekend. She's one of the sweetest people on earth. I adore her. Renee and Syl are not actual sisters - but best friends. Bob has always called her "aunt." She makes the famous "Renee's Poppy Seed Cookies." This woman is the best Jewish cooks you ever met. Her home is always warm and inviting. You can show up on her door night or day and she'll always invite you in for a visit. You feel so at home, like you never left.



While visiting, we shopped by two yarn shops. One is called "Chris' Needle Craft Supplies" in Chesterfield. They have a website, which is www.chrisneedlecraftsupply.com. Very cute place! With knowledgeable knitters, including the manager named Wayne Davis, who is not only a talented knitter, but he also makes lovely handmade shawl pins such as this one I bought, in Bolivan Rosewood. And, as you can see, I couldn't resist buying my first skein of Tofutsie sock yarn in an aqua, green, lavendar, pink colorway. Very summery, wouldn't you say?






















My friend, Carol, has already made some socks out of this yarn, in a different color, so I know how soft and lovely this yarn is from touching her socks. I just HAD to have some. Who can resist yarn with shrimp shells ground into the yarn to make it softer? Mmmm.



Did I tell you that during the drive to and from, I finished the cabled purse? Well, I did. While in St. Louis, I found some cloth to make the lining. And I need to sew the lining, attach the straps and the magnetic closure -- do all those finishing things so that I can show you the completed bag - maybe tomorrow or sometime this week.




I started a new project, a summer sweater, but it's been a bugger-bear so far. I struggled with it, and finally visited yes ANOTHER yarn shop, both to buy a bit of yarn, but mainly to get advice on what I'm doing wrong on this bugger-bear dang sweater pattern. We all agreed, the Math just didn't quite work out - it was one stitch off. But I think this one will be okay once I get the hang of it.


"Knitorious" is the name of the shop where they offered their knitter's hand-holding service. Bob patiently waited in the car while the folks at "Knitorious" did a pattern analysis for me. I've been there before, and it is a "not to be missed shop" near the St. Louis zoo. Their website is www.knitorious.com and the owner is Sandy, a wonderfully helpful person - along with her colleague Lenora. Together, Sandy and Lenore are a dynamite team. I recommend them and the shop highly.

The colorway below with a mixture of brown/copper/peach and blue color elements is another Colinette Jitterbug find of mine in a colorway called "Copperbeach." Since falling in love with shawls, I may just HAVE to whip this into another shawl perhaps?

In a Blink

Book review Friday. Normally I'm not able to write blog entries on Fridays because I'm at work. But today it's "Book Review Friday" because I'm off work. Yay! (See last entry). Four days off is simply decadent! It really is. I got up at my usual time, 5:30 a.m. and hardly knew what to do with myself. It's such a luxury to poke around the house and not hurry.

I've been reading this book called "Blink" by Malcom Gladwell. It's about the realm of adaptive unconscious - where our minds process information very rapidly without our knowledge and allow us to make snap judgments that are sometimes more accurate and on-target than our more thought-out conscious decisions. He calls this instant knowing "thin slicing" because we only need to take a small sampling or "thin slice" of information to gather a much deeper and more "gut level" reaction that is often more accurate than our carefully gathered and consciously-analyzed decisions.

Gladwell's book is fascinating. It's really a series of almost vignette-style examples from various psychological research to support his conclusions. He's taken various research studies and research from other researchers and compiled them into a framework of supporting his conclusion that people have an unconscious decision-making process that operates much faster and more seamlessly behind-the-scenes than we ever realize. In many ways, if we could trust this "instant intuition" we might prevent many disastrous conscious decisions.

On the other hand, there are definitely circumstances where conscious analysis is more useful. He gives examples of "Blink" gone awry, such as the marketing of New Coke and one of the most horrible presidents in history, Harding. He also talks about how we have unconscious prejudices, such as the unconscious belief among most people that tall people are natural leaders, that can lead us astray in trusting people whom we should take a second look at.

While I enjoyed this book immensely, the one thing missing that I would have liked is a way of practicing the quick-thinking intuitive judgments, a way of honing your "thinking without thinking." It would have been to have included a series of exercises or something. I think I rely on my intuition a lot, and it most often steers me correctly (i.e. finding my husband and trusting my immediate hunch that he was a great guy) . . . but then sometimes I start second-guessing myself and screw up what MIGHT have been a great hunch and turning it into a great big clusterfuck. (Sorry but that's the only word for some of my contorted misjudgments).

I would recommend this book to those who are interested in learning more about how decisions - both good and bad - are made and how we should probably do more "thin slicing" that is, taking less time and a smaller sampling of information, to make reliable decisions.

One of the most fascinating research studies was about the marriage researcher who could decide, in 15 minutes, whether a new marriage would survive or fail (with 95% accuracy), based on a segment of conversation he observed with hundreds of couples. His method of research was very logical and rational, but through it, he developed a way to tell very quickly based on four behaviors he observed that doomed a relationship, namely: contempt (the most disastrous) along with stonewalling, defensiveness, and something else I forgot. Anyway, I've heard about this researcher before, his name is John Gottman. He called those 4 behaviors that doom a relationship "the four horseman of the Apocolypse" because they were the precursors to a failed relationship.

Just take a thin slice of this book yourself and let me know what you think. How about that?

I Live for Long Weekends!!!

Oh boy, I am as giddy as can be --- why? Because I'm off work tomorrow. That means a four day weekend!!!! I feel like I've been released from corporate prison. With all the tension there all this month, I thought if I had to spend one more hour there, I'd snap. (Remember there is a GOOD reason this blog is called, "Hanging By A Thin Thread.")

The song "Freebird" rushes into my frazzled mind.

Anyway, I'm not going to think any more about that place, I'm free to be relaxed.

I am free to knit, and roam, and shop and think, and lull around, and loaf. Maybe knit. Maybe read. Maybe I'll finish that cabled purse that has taken me FAR too long. Maybe I'll start on something else for Stitches. Maybe I'll stay sane for one more day. Doubt that.

I am so very happy to call four days in a row my own. Life is good. At leasdt for four days.

A New Way to Get Around

Well, we've been having this Plymouth Caravan that hasn't been of much use to us in recent months. It has a variety of mechanical maladies, including a slipping transmission and broken air conditioning . . . so I've been telling Bob, "We need to just get rid of that thing, it's not worth fixing." (Mainly because we hardly drive it - we've outlived our minivan days).

With gas prices going up, up, up and with our teenager growing increasingly independent, what we need is another driveable little "getting around" car that gets good gas mileage. Especially since I drive 22 miles to and from work each day (44 miles today round trip). So . . . we've been going car shopping lately. And you can see what we drove away with yesterday. Toyota Yaris.

Now the color, which is sort of a cross between navy and saphire may surprise those of you who know how much I DON'T like blue. Blue is the only color in the whole palette that I run, not walk away from. But here it is. It drew me immediately. I knew it was MY car. I love driving it. The handling . . the interior roomines . . . the cheap price . . . the great gas mileage. It just felt like mine.

Because of the skyrocketing gasoline price, these Yaris cars are selling so fast that they can hardly keep them in stock at our local dealership. This was the LAST stickshift transmission car that they had on the lot, and we wanted a stick. It gets 40 mpg on the highway, and I mainly drive highway.

I've always loved small cars - one of my favorites have been "Brown Bomber" - my old rusted out Toyota Corolla that ran until you could see the road beneath your feet, literally!!! It had like 218,000 miles on it.

Emily will soon inherit "Groovy Grape" my loyal and long-serving Dodge Stratus. It's been good to me and will be a good safe car for her to use while she learns to drive.

What is really funny about this is that when I got home last night, I was catching up on the many blogs I read. Guess what I discovered? My friend Kay bought the same kind of car last week in silver! This is so funny!

Post-Shawl Knitting Lethargy

The thrill is gone . . . .

Not with my man (see him at left, holding the knitted yarn cake he made a few weeks ago when he was spinning my Colinette Jitterbug yarn trove).

But the thrill is gone (at least temporarily) with the knitting. It's been 10 days since I completed my lovely Forest Canopy Shawl and I'm missing knitting it already. I want to do another . . . seriously. I'm really missing it. And I don't need another shawl, at least not immediately, I need instead to focus on creating a Stitches wardrobe, but my mind keeps drifting to yarnovers when I should be knitting . . . cables. Yes, my current project is CABLES, darn it, NOT lace.

See this lovely pattern by Ali of The Studio? It's a cute little cable purse, and I really want to do this. It should be a quick project, but my mind keeps drifting, not paying attention. I had half of it done last Sunday but then had to rip most of it out again when I discovered I'd missed cabling two cables. It's a really cute, easy pattern. It uses Noro Kureyon yarn and it is NOT felted. I'm going to need to make a lining in it. The purse at right is their Studio sample purse. The one I'm making is the same color, though. Mine is about 1/3 done.

Why is it that when you complete a project that you really love, it takes a while to feel the love for anything else?

So no matter how much I try to fix my mind on cables, it keeps drifting to:

Stop that! Yes, okay, I ordered that book. The last thing I need is more lace-induced daydreaming.

Back to the danged cables. Okay, I will bargain with myself: you can maybe start another shawl only AFTER you finish the cable purse. How's that for self-compromise?

Forest Canopy Shawl Adoration

Here's after blocking - now I'm wearing it.

Forest Canopy Shawl - It's A Wrap!

Here it is: the completed Forest Canopy Shawl in Colinette's Jitterbug/color: Tuscany. Size 7 needle. Started 3-17-07 and completed this morning 5-6-07.

Unblocked it measured 46" wingspan/23 inches center back. After being wetted and blocking it is 66X30. It's fairly large. Eeeks! I called Mary in a panic miscalculating that it was 76 but I added wrong, it's 66. I did 3 extra repetitions while knitting, thinking I wanted it larger, but now it might be too large. SIGH.

Lesson learned: next time I want to block a shawl, instead of immersing it in cold water and then rolling it in towels, I think I would do as Mary suggested and just pin it down and then spritz it with water so it doesn't expand quite so much.



It's been storming really bad all weekend here in KC. To the west of us, in Kansas, on Friday night, they had tornadoes that were so bad, one town of Greenburg was leveled. I feel so sorry for those people.


Twenty-five years ago, on June 7th to be exact, I was in a small house that collapsed from a storm when two trees went through my tiny house (no basement), with me inside! I was lucky I wasn't smashed to smithereens. So I can imagine the fear those people faced when another tornado front moved over that same area again last night. Everything here is fine - just a lot of storms and heavy rain, thunder and lightening. No tornadoes. Thank Goodness. We've been resting, staying in and cleaning the house a bit.



I visited The Studio yesterday and had a great time. Found a new pattern for a cable handbag that the storeowner, Allie, designed. I'll be making that for Stitches. I'm also going to be starting a new vest. These are the yarns for the Jane Thornley Sunset Bolero vest:





Isn't this cute?

If it turns out, then it will go to Stitches with me. It's one of those Freeform "not an exact science" kind of projects. I love the colors of this vest, and I hope it won't look like I'm an overstuffed sausage wearing it. You can bet that I won't be wearing it with my midriff exposed such as the young girl modeling this vest is doing. But it's my next project. Wish me luck.

Neil Young Makes a Spring Day Even Better

Today was a beautiful spring day. At lunch, after eating a grilled salmon salad at Panara's, I sat with the windows down in my car, a cool breeze drifting by as I sat knitting on the Forest Canopy Shawl and listening to one of my favorite musicians of all time, the Neil Young's Greatest Hits CD. What a treat! It was really relaxing and fun.

Best of all, it's Friday! Yes, an end to a long (too long) week. Peace and tranquility, please find me this weekend.

I did really really WELL on both the diet and exercise front this week. I didn't drink coffee. I didn't drink soda. I drank water, had hot lemon water or green tea in the morning instead of caffeine. My exercise was walking. Didn't eat junk food or stress-eat all week, even though it was a challenging week. I'm really proud of myself. Whew!

Now let's see how I do on a less-structured weekend. Neil Young, keep me calm and reflective, okay? Oh yeah, I need to do that for myself.

Am I Falling Apart or What?

Jeez, I joined this walking/exercise class with Mary and Carol that we're doing through a hospital. We've been doing this for about 4 weeks, and I've been trying to walk most every day for 2 weeks now. This week, we got back the results of our lab tests and I discovered that I really DO have motivation to lose weight and exercise. It seems that my overall cholestrol is 211 with the "bad cholestrol" being too high and the good too low. That's not a huge surprise, it's hereditary in my family.

But blood sugar is also higher than it should be, at 114. Bummer. I need to start watching that now too. It's time to really go low-carb - giving up pasta, bread, sweets, chips, white flour etc. I really can't eat that junk anymore.

After last Sunday's entry on addiction, I decided that for at least one week, I want to totally give up coffee for just one week. Why? Mainly just to see if I can do it, because I adore coffee more than anything. I miss it. Green tea just isn't the same. I don't care what anyone says. I drink my coffee black, without sugar, cream etc. I like it because it is rich tasting, thick, hearty, warm and comforting. I can sip green tea, and it's okay, but it's just not the same. So far this week, though, I haven't had any - not Monday through Thursday so far! I just wanted to see if I could do it - give up something I love for a week. Yes, I probably can. Do I want to continue this? Not sure yet.

Actually they say that coffee LOWERS the risk of diabetes, so considering my elevated blood sugar, maybe I should continue drinking it and enjoying it forever, who knows? Ah the ways we justify our addictions. Isn't it simply amazing?